Princess Blondie (princessblondie) wrote,
Princess Blondie

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I have had this theory, for quite some time now.  I remember discussing it with Bruno in my old living room, of my old house, where I lived with my ex.  As most of you know, Bruno & I have been friends for a really long time now, and prior to us finding love together, we supported each other through previous relationships, and had a great amount of respect for each other...

Anyway, I don't know why, but it popped into my head this morning on my way to work again.

I remember telling Bruno, that I think all relationships should be like leases....   with options to renew.  "OPTION" being the key word.

If both parties have the OPTION to renew, and it takes mutual agreement to renew successfully, I really believe that a lot of people would be happier.

If every six months, your relationship was up for renewal, would you still be in it?  Would you exercise your option to walk away?

Everything would be subject to negotiations of course, with an opportunity to fix things if that is what both parties wanted, but don't you think you'd be a little more appreciative, affectionate, attentive, helpful, etc. if you knew that on a semi-annual basis, you could lose it?

AND, don't you think that your partner would do the same? (be more helpful, attentive, affectionate, etc.).

So....  why isn't it like this?  I mean, really, what's keeping us in unhappy or unfulfilling relationships?

Having spent far too long in my previous relationship for all the wrong reasons (worried about his feelings & happiness rather than my own), I have to say that habit is a huge factor.  It's easier to just continue going through the motions every day of coming home to the same person, going through your usual routine, and looking for things outside of your relationship to make you happy or feel fulfilled (like over-working, drinking/partying, courses/classes to keep you out of the house, etc.).  I would get so overwhelmed when I'd think about how people would judge me, speak poorly of me, how I would move all of my things out, divy up what's mine, what's his, we bought a dog, we bought a house, we jointly purchased many items in the home....  and then one day I realized all that was holding me back was material stuff, and the opinions of people that I was better off leaving in my past anyway.

Life isn't supposed to be like that?   LOVE isn't supposed to be like that.

Having kids can certainly change the dynamics of a relationship, I realize.  Not having had children with my ex, I cannot say that "I understand/know how difficult that must be in terms of the overall decision making process".  I can however say that my parents separation and divorce was one of the best things that ever happened to me...  even though things were difficult, we were poor, they were young, inexperienced, lacking family support, etc.  We were still a team, and I knew I was the glue and that we were all just doing what we needed to do to have better lives.

I feel like I've gotten off topic.

It's not an easy subject to discuss with your partner when you've already teetered onto different levels of living your lives, but for me, the fact that I wasn't able to discuss this sort of thing with my ex is exactly what prompted me to make the necessary changes in my life and take back the years I still had on this planet, and to give myself the gift of opportunity.

Life is so short.  Love is such a gift.  I'd hate to think that you aren't being appreciated & taken care of properly, and I really hate to think that you aren't in a relationship that allows you to appreciate and take care of someone else with all of the goodness that I know is in you...

Hold yourself accountable for the greatness within you.  I love you all.  
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