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Wednesday, February 13th, 2008
4:09 pm - Meh
 I'm not a very good lj'er anymore.  I'm not a very good facebooker either.  Is it normal for pregnancy to make you anti-social?

Half the time I have things to say, but can't be bothered to say them.  Can't be bothered to log in.  Can't be bothered to properly form my thoughts.  Pregnancy does make me lazy.  Tired.  Sore.

One of the ladies I work indirectly with said to me yesterday, "You're putting some weight on in your face"....

(First thing in the morning) - (My first day back at work as I'm off Mondays) - (I'm PREGNANT).

I smiled at her & said, "I'm putting some weight on all over the place...  what can I help you with?"

I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it, but who says that?

I've been finding & rescuing lady bugs in my house.  I think two, maybe three, over & over again.  I don't want them to die, so I keep moving them to places I think will be warm/natural for them.  In amongst my plants, etc.

This afternoon, I looked up and there was one climbing the inside of the window by my desk!

cisforcorrie said that she thought it meant something, so I looked it up online, and it means LUCK!

Who doesn't need a little of that?

I got up at 2am last night & ate some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.  Do you know how incredibly out of character that is for me?  Damn it was good.

I'm having crazy strange dreams lately.  No doubt it's the foods I've been eating as well as hormones.

Believe it or not, the other night, I dreampt Bono tried to kiss me...  the unbelievable part is that I didn't kiss him!  I panicked and asked where Bruno was.  LOL.  I am SO lame.

My little friend Amanda has a boyfriend.  I've been emailing with her mom about it.  Going to have a little chat with her.  I want to make sure she knows that she has to respect herself, and that she calls the shots.  So what if a boy breaks up with you because you won't do whatever he wants.  They come back.  Jr. High...  High School...  etc.  Truth be told, I didn't have my first "real" kiss until I was almost 17 years old!!!  Do you believe it?  So true.  I swear.  I knew I held all the cards, and I did NOTHING I wasn't comfortable with.  I was boy crazy growing up, but no floozy by any stretch of the imagination.

We have our second birthing class tomorrow.  Last week was pretty good, but most of what we covered doesn't apply to me since we're having a scheduled C Section.  *because of my eye problems, and last years hemorrhages, and subsequent procedures to stop/prevent bleeding, they want to avoid me pushing at all, so as to not undo the progress in my healing and keeping my vessels stable.

It's nice to be in a room with so many other pregnant women.

I have no new physical complaints accept for wicked leg cramps.  Been eating more bananas to try putting a stop or a slow down to that, but I'm not sure it's working.  Back is still as sore as ever.  Rib cage still as sore as ever.  Baby still as active as ever, especially when I feel at my most tired/exhausted.

I've been daydreaming about leaving work earlier than the week of my c-section, but my conscience won't let me fantasize too long before reality kicks in & I remember how much I have to do to try to tie up all the loose ends, that will probably never be tied entirely.

Our neighbor who had a baby last year told me the other day that she's decided NOT to return to work.  Amazing.  I wonder what it feels like to make a decision like that.  Good?  Scary?  Fulfilling?  I won't know until my little bambino is in my arms....  right now, it seems unfathomable.

Love to you all.


current mood: tired

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Tuesday, February 5th, 2008
1:05 pm - MY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So amazing....  

current mood: happy

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Monday, February 4th, 2008
9:41 am - This would freak me RIGHT the frig out...

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Wednesday, January 30th, 2008
2:26 pm - A bit of whining & some other stuff.

My feet are hot.

I have a headache.

My hair band is too tight.

I have way too much to do.

My hands have been retaining water in the mornings.  I hate it.

Anything you wanna bitch about?


I love having Corrie at work :)  (I think everyone else here does too)

Bruno took my car in for me today for an oil change and a bunch of other stuff that needed work, and now I don't need to worry about it :)

My dad and sister & her boyfriend are coming up for dinner tonight, and I don't have to cook :)  Bruballa is looking after it for me.

We had our 3D ultrasound on Monday, and we get to go back next week for a free session because we weren't able to see all of the baby's face at once.  We saw bits & pieces.  Enough to know that he has my nose :)


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Thursday, January 17th, 2008
11:45 am - PICTURES!

So, I'm feeling REALLY pregnant today....  REALLY...

I thought I'd sneak into the bathroom & take a couple of quick pics with my phone :)

I'm 27 weeks now.

And when I look down.....  THIS is all I see...


I still have like, 10 weeks to go?!  And NOW is when Mateo will do the most growing?????

In other news, my little Amanda (do you know/remember Amanda?)
*sorry it's blurry

So, my little Amanda sent me an e-mail yesterday, saying that she has to do a presentation for class, and she has chosen to do it on ME!!!!

How cute/sweet/flattering??  I could just eat her alive.

She's so excited about the baby coming, and finally having the opportunity to be a "big sister" to someone, since she's the baby of the family, and has two stinky older brothers, who are typically mean and bossy to her... etc.

She called me last night & interviewed me, and we put together the story of our friendship.

How I lived across the street from her, and met her when she was 6, and how she used to help me carry in my groceries, and we'd bake together, and go for drives down by the water, etc.  Then I moved, and we kept in touch, and blah blah blah, and now here we are expecting a baby, and still friends, and how she has her own room at my house and how we love to do cool stuff together, like paint ceramics or go to The Wave Pool, or shopping, or getting her ears pierced, and when I saw her on Sunday (I gave her my favorite winter coat since it won't fit me the rest of this year and I got a new one for Christmas that will fit me next year) she had on MAKE UP!  She's finishing off her presentation with the statement of us knowing each other now for half of her life, and that we're going to be friends forever.  Ugh!  Couldn't you just pinch her?  HARD?  LOL.

I am hoping that the presentations aren't for another week or so, and I'll be able to book the time off work to surprise her.  I just called her mom & asked her to talk to the teacher about when this is all going to go down.

I'll bring my video camera & a box of kleenex.

K.  I really gotta get to work.  I'm goofing a bit today.


cisforcorrie - you have phone, but no power yet :)  I'm not in tomorrow as I have an appointment downtown with my eye specialist, and I really wanted to suprvise the arranging of your desk, etc. and buy you a nice little plant to put on it & welcome you Monday morning....  Maybe I'll just bring you a plant on Monday :)  See you then partner!


current mood: happy

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10:57 am
I have had this theory, for quite some time now.  I remember discussing it with Bruno in my old living room, of my old house, where I lived with my ex.  As most of you know, Bruno & I have been friends for a really long time now, and prior to us finding love together, we supported each other through previous relationships, and had a great amount of respect for each other...

Anyway, I don't know why, but it popped into my head this morning on my way to work again.

I remember telling Bruno, that I think all relationships should be like leases....   with options to renew.  "OPTION" being the key word.

If both parties have the OPTION to renew, and it takes mutual agreement to renew successfully, I really believe that a lot of people would be happier.

If every six months, your relationship was up for renewal, would you still be in it?  Would you exercise your option to walk away?

Everything would be subject to negotiations of course, with an opportunity to fix things if that is what both parties wanted, but don't you think you'd be a little more appreciative, affectionate, attentive, helpful, etc. if you knew that on a semi-annual basis, you could lose it?

AND, don't you think that your partner would do the same? (be more helpful, attentive, affectionate, etc.).

So....  why isn't it like this?  I mean, really, what's keeping us in unhappy or unfulfilling relationships?

Having spent far too long in my previous relationship for all the wrong reasons (worried about his feelings & happiness rather than my own), I have to say that habit is a huge factor.  It's easier to just continue going through the motions every day of coming home to the same person, going through your usual routine, and looking for things outside of your relationship to make you happy or feel fulfilled (like over-working, drinking/partying, courses/classes to keep you out of the house, etc.).  I would get so overwhelmed when I'd think about how people would judge me, speak poorly of me, how I would move all of my things out, divy up what's mine, what's his, we bought a dog, we bought a house, we jointly purchased many items in the home....  and then one day I realized all that was holding me back was material stuff, and the opinions of people that I was better off leaving in my past anyway.

Life isn't supposed to be like that?   LOVE isn't supposed to be like that.

Having kids can certainly change the dynamics of a relationship, I realize.  Not having had children with my ex, I cannot say that "I understand/know how difficult that must be in terms of the overall decision making process".  I can however say that my parents separation and divorce was one of the best things that ever happened to me...  even though things were difficult, we were poor, they were young, inexperienced, lacking family support, etc.  We were still a team, and I knew I was the glue and that we were all just doing what we needed to do to have better lives.

I feel like I've gotten off topic.

It's not an easy subject to discuss with your partner when you've already teetered onto different levels of living your lives, but for me, the fact that I wasn't able to discuss this sort of thing with my ex is exactly what prompted me to make the necessary changes in my life and take back the years I still had on this planet, and to give myself the gift of opportunity.

Life is so short.  Love is such a gift.  I'd hate to think that you aren't being appreciated & taken care of properly, and I really hate to think that you aren't in a relationship that allows you to appreciate and take care of someone else with all of the goodness that I know is in you...

Hold yourself accountable for the greatness within you.  I love you all.  

current mood: contemplative

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Thursday, January 10th, 2008
3:27 pm - ADDICTIVE!!

How good/bad are you?

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Tuesday, January 8th, 2008
10:17 am
 I seem to be going to bed earlier & earlier....  and having a harder and harder time getting up in the morning.

I'm also having leg cramps that are severe enough to get me out of bed in the middle of the night to do stretches.  Not to mention multiple bathroom visits.

Does this sleep/bathroom/cramp thing get worse as the last trimester progresses??

My Bruballa (Bruno) is coming to take me out for lunch today :)  I love when he comes to see me at work.  I just love him so much, and it's so nice when the people I love here at work get to say hello & shake his hand, and he gets more familliar with all of the people I talk about so often over our dinners at home, etc.  Especially my boss-man.

I brought this really delicious barley dish for lunch, that my mom served as a side dish with dinner last night (we went to my moms).  It'll be just as good tomorrow.

My boobs are so itchy.  I use a cream cleanser in the shower, and a spray oil before I get out of the shower, and then I SLATHER on my body butter after my shower, because I really don't want to end up covered in stretch marks, but the itching...  OH THE ITCHING!!!   My tummy & my boobs....

It's a pay week.  Yahoo.  My treat to myself this pay period - a massage and spa day.  My sister & my girlfriend & I have yet to choose the destination, but the commitment has been made.  We're contemplating going back to the Casino Rama Spa where I went in December for my spa away night with Karen.  We'll make a day of it.  Use the pool, the steam room (only a short visit there for me).  Super powered showers that will wash three full layers of skin off your body.  :)  Jacuzzi (again, a shorter visit there for me).

We need a nap room at the office.  I'd sleep through my lunch EVERY day.


current mood: tired

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Monday, January 7th, 2008
2:44 pm - Long/Wavy Bob
What do you guys think?

For me of course...

*and it's purely a fluke that it's Jessica Simpson - NO, I did not set out looking for pictures of Jess.

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Saturday, December 29th, 2007
9:20 am - The BEST e-mail ever - DEAR SANTA
Someone I work with wanted to pass this onto me, since I'll soon be a mommy, but I couldn't help but think of all the wonderful women (and mommies) I know who would smile at reading this.

Where would we be without mama's??

I know I have a lot to learn, but pregnancy alone has opened my eyes to the many thankless but oh-so-necessary compromises one makes for her family. I have learned a great deal about myself as a woman (and future mom) in a very short time, and I know that is just the TIP of the iceberg.

So, without further delay.... for all the amazing women in my life, if nobody else happens to say it today, I love and appreciate you.


Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint
Resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, 'Yes,
Mommy' to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting 'Don't eat in the living room' and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always, MOM...!

P.S. One more can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

*Santa has asked that this gets passed on to all the mommies you know*

current mood: awake

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Thursday, December 20th, 2007
2:45 pm - OH YEA!!!

I forgot to mention:

Unless the baby tries to come early, my C-Section has been scheduled for April 9th, 2008.

April 9th...  the day my life changes forever.  Our lives.


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2:07 pm - Bah HUM bug!
I thought I'd nip out at lunch & get some shopping done...  What the heck was I thinking???  I work in Scarborough....  There is never a quiet moment anywhere.

It took me twenty minutes to get two city blocks North, so I could return two pair of pants I bought and changed my mind about.  Did I mention they were from Wal-Mart?  When I finally got there, got a spot (and almost killed a man for it), I got into the store, saw the customer service line, and left.

A very special certain someone from LJ land had an interview at my work today, and I have a very good feeling that they got the job :)  One more thing to look forward to in 2008 - working with ________________ (I can't tell you until I have permission).

Banana man, the guy I bitch about now & then gave me a lovely Christmas Card this morning & a tin of fancy toffee/chocolates.  Talk about shocked.  The card reads, "Just a small token of thanks for the irreplaceable support and assistance you gave all year".  Awe...  I need to have better patience for him.  (he also needs to stop doing things that drive me crazy).

Tomorrow is a half day, as we're having a huge Christmas lunch all afternoon at one of our recently re-acquired restaurant chains.  It's going to be gooooooood.  Greeks know food.

I booked Monday off.  I'll be working Thursday & Friday next week but I really don't mind.  It'll be so quiet here, and we'll all dress very comfortably, and I'll be able to get so much done with so many people out of the office.

I bought an adorable Winnie the Pooh set for the baby on ebay this morning.  All the crib bedding including bumper, curtains and a WTP lamp.  I chose a Pooh border for the room, but it's old school Pooh, which I just love the look of.  I'll do it half way up the wall, and paint the room two separate colours (above and below the border).  Paint already chosen too, but not purchased.

We're re-doing the upstairs bathroom over the holidays.  I can't wait.  New floors.  New tiles.  New paint.  New tub.  YUMMY.

Random question:

Do you hate any words?  I mean other than words that were meant to be offensive (curse words, slang words etc. do not count).

- Bruno doesn't like the word pantyhose.
- I don't like the word girth or fungus

What are yours?

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Wednesday, December 12th, 2007
12:40 pm - Sick or pregnant?
Here's our little office Koi that I've been looking after...

Is she pregnant?  Or do you think she's sick?

*sorry it's blurry, my phone doesn't take the greatest photos.

She's not a large fish, but she's gotten nearly as wide as she is long!

What do you guys think??

current mood: curious

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Tuesday, December 11th, 2007
3:41 pm - Still no fishy babies...

Is it me, or is it bloody impossible to find a decent photograph of a very pregnant Koi Fish?


Due to the fact that I can't find any online to accurately compare to the one I think we have, I'm beginning to wonder if she's just REALLY sick...

Do any of you have photos?  Or access to decent photos of pregnant Koi?


current mood: confused

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Wednesday, November 21st, 2007
5:20 pm - Back from the ultrasound!
It felt like it took forever!

Twenty minutes in, I really started to worry.  The technician said, "Oh, didn't you know that this appointment takes about 45 minutes".  LOL

I said, "Well, we need to go tell my husband that, because he's definitely going to start worrying soon if he hasn't already - we've had two miscarriages in the past".

After taking all of her measurements & remaining tight lipped, Bruno came in, and then she was all smiles & laughs.

I had to lay on my side, then my other side, and then even my stomach for a while so that the baby would flip over (to show us its bits & pieces!).

We told her we wanted to know the gender, and she turned the screen so I could see (finally).

She said, "Now, this is never 100%, but generally, when it's a girl, it doesn't have one of these........."

OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's a boy?  It's a boy!!  IT'S A BOY!!!

Mella's going to have a little baby brother :)

My siblings are going to have a gorgeous nephew!

My parents will have a grandson!


This is all really happening now :)

I can finally bond with the whole idea & really prepare myself, now that  I know who's in there!!


You know, I woke up this morning thinking that, today, really is the beginning of the rest of our lives.  Today changes everything.  Today is a day I'll never forget, and a day I'll tell my little man about at bed time for years to come :)

Love you all.


current mood: thankful

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11:21 am - Today is the big day!
We have an ultrasound this afternoon, where we hope to learn if we're having a little Prince, or a little Princess :)

I personally feel like it's a girl, but what do I know?

What do you guys think?  Last chance to call it!


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Friday, November 9th, 2007
8:01 pm - The Law of Attraction
 Do you believe (do you practice) in the laws of attraction?

I've been spending a lot of time thinking about this lately, and as I set different goals, I've had a great deal of reward and success with the goals I have passion for.

I've also been putting a lot of my energy & thought into my Avon business lately, and my average customer sales have increased with each campaign.  Each order being a little more than the last.

Then, tonight out of the blue, I get a page through my real estate office, with a message from a woman I don't recognize by name, asking me if I want to take over her Avon customers...  hello?  

Do you think that's wild & wonderful?

This stuff really works!

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Thursday, November 8th, 2007
2:57 pm - Pitchas

This picture was taken a couple of days after my last eye injection, which was almost a year ago now (THANK GOD).  Each time I go in, we talk about the possibility of doing another one, and then we say, "Let's just see how things go, and talk about it again at the next follow-up"...  which translates to me to mean that I'm doing a good job taking care of myself, and that my eyes are not getting worse.

I remember laughing so hard this night, that I thought I was going to rupture my injection spot in my eye, because I could feel it throbbing, and I got so scared I ran upstairs to get away from everyone so I could stop laughing & regain my composure...

I dunno how to do cuts (I'm without my client @ work) for the yucky pics.  Some of you might have seen them already...

And to be totally random....  here is my favorite picture of my little sis...  during her summer travels - this one taken in Amsterdam :)
  HA HA HA HA!!!  

And here she is with the hunka hunka burnin' love she crossed paths with, and was rude enough to NOT bring home to Canada with her:
  OMG, is he not edible??

Man, I miss posting pictures...

What else have I got in here...
The adorable tattoo (on an adorable boob) my girlfriend got while we were downtown drinking & celebrating during Gay Pride 2007.  I came VERY close to getting an identical one! LOL

OK...  Back to work...

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Wednesday, October 31st, 2007
11:18 am - Mmmmmmm....

Skittles makes bubble gum....


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Tuesday, October 30th, 2007
10:23 am
 Last night, I did a whopping 6 minutes on my elliptical.  LOL.  Six CONSECUTIVE minutes...  and I didn't think I was going to die...  Actually, that's not true.  I thought I was going to after the first couple of minutes, but then I pushed through, and it got easier.  I'm SO bloody out of shape it bothers me.  I would have kept going past 6 however dinner would have burned :)  And we would have gone hungry.

Tonight, if my Avon order doesn't take me forever (tonight is Delivery night, so I have to sort all the orders), I'd like to do 20 minutes.

I really should be doing it in the morning, but I'm just not there yet.

I wasn't feeling myself yesterday.  I felt really depressed, miserable, and icky in my own skin.  Didn't want to be at work, but didn't want to be anywhere else either.  Might as well get paid while I'm miserable, right?  (I stayed at work).

I made the mistake of going to Wal-Mart at lunch to try to run some errands & make myself feel better.  What a mistake.  I hated everyone.  People in their cars.   People crossing the streets where they shouldn't be crossing.  People walking in front of me.  People cutting me off or bumping into me in the aisles.  I felt literally like barking at them all...  how f'd up is that??  So unlike me.

Thankfully today I'm feeling much better, and at peace with the world around me.  There will be no barking at strangers...

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